Life lessons

On Friday January 9th, my day started like any other friday morning; up groggy cause I'm not quite a morning person, rushing the kids out the door to school, racing to the bank, and the back home to get things ready for the rest of the day. My phone rang.

It wasn't work, great.

It was my friend that I hadn't spoken to for the new year. I started the conversation like we had so many times before.

"Wassup, man?"

"Happy New Year!"

"How are things?"

All these were met with an unusual quietness in response. His next statement has echoed in my head for almost 4 days now.

"Dr. Callaway died last night in his sleep."

My friend is known to tell a joke or two so I responded. He and Dr. Callaway always kid around.

"Come on man, that's not a nice joke to start the year "

Silence greeted me on the other side of the line. It wasn't a joke. Our friend had gone quietly into the dark night. In that instant of reality, I felt my legs give way. For almost 3 minutes all I could say was "no way" and "wow". It just didn't seem possible...

You see Dr. Callaway was 45 yrs old. Bright, energetic, full of life. He ran a 3 minute mile and ran 10 miles as a warm up. He would challenge you and encourage you in the same breath. His gate told alot about the man. He walked with purpose, thought with purpose, and acted with purpose. If you caught him in the hall and wanted to walk and talk, you had to keep up. If you wanted to discuss with him you had to keep up. He was a man how led with quiet confidence.
He was a man who had a passion for education and a purpose in life. He was a devoted Father and Husband. His wife now must care for three little one's 9,7, and 4 years of age without her best friend.

As my Friday morning continued, I recieved several calls informing me of his passing. It was more evidence of the scope of his impact. As we all mentioned the shockingness of his death, we also spent several more minutes talking about his life, our memories and his impact on our lives. And I guess that is the life lesson.

First, at some point our journey here will come to an end. It is our legacy that will remain. When Robert's children met those that knew him, our greetings will flow with kind words and fond memories of a man who lived his life with meaning and purpose. That is his legacy. What is yours? What is mine. Do we live our lives on purpose? Do we walk with a purpose or just shuffle by?Robert was not perfect, but a great example.

Second, we should cherish the time we have with others. We never know when the journey will end.

Friday night, after visiting with Robert's wife and family. I came home to mine. I hugged them a bit tighter, kiss them a bit longer, and enjoyed the noise just a bit longer.....

May we live our lives with meaning, passion and purpose through the betterment of one another.

Thanks Robert. You will be missed.

This Just In

I realize that I've not posted for a while. Although I have some things in the hopper, I have not put them up for consumption. The statement of my life seems to be that “life happens” And this is true more then ever. I am reviewing items to enhance my career, making some self adjustments to address some of my A.O.I’s ( Areas of Improvements aka weaknesses for those who grew up in the 70’s), and reviewing other opportunities for success. Then there’s my family. Kids ending school year, plays, musicals, summer planning and.....We are going to have another child… ( Just when I was going to sell the Car Seats on Ebay ). So Life Happens and then you change. :-)

I will be back to post a bit more regularly. So in case you were worried about my absence, no worries. Life Happened!

Do we really need to know everything?

Recently I ran across CNN's "Showbiz Tonight". A debate ensued on the leaking of Prince Harry's service in Afghanistan. One the one side, there was the feeling that the "secret" had been kept as to where he was located and it was inappropriate to have his location exposed. On the other hand was investigative reporter, Jane Valez Michell who authored the book "Secret can be Murder". Her stance was that it was the British Military Forces fault for keeping the fact a secret because it can become "toxic". In her view he should have been sent over there, but put in a place where he could not do much harm. She further contended that now that the News agencies had agreed to keep the secret, many terrorist may target journalist as "spies".

It caused me to wonder, since when do I need to know everything about everybody who gains a bit of fame, notority, or wealth. The young man did not opt out of service, followed the call and went into battle with his comrades. He is building resume' for a future leader, if nothing else. But he was sold out by a reporter who appearantly cared nothing for his safety. And that's my beef. In this world , we seem to forget that there are somethings better left unsaid. We are so eagar to "keep it real" that we lost a sense of curtiousness and caring. Had it been "put out there" that Harry was in Afghanistan, he and his unit would have been a huge target. Even if he was just shuffling papers, his file cabinet and those around him could have been a target. Let's get real, He was doing his duty. End of story. Do we know what the other soldiers backgrounds are, should we make them public, should we then broadcast there location.? the answer is in my opinion is no. Individuals are fullfilling their duties with their lives.

We are becoming a society that wants to put it all out there. However, there are consequences for every action. Do we really need to know every time that someone slips at the mall, falls while getting a latte, or has a run in with the parking police? The answer again is no. My mother used to tell me "There are some things better left unsaid". She gets wiser the more mature I become.

Does the Airport Count?

As I have been traveling around the country, a debate has arisen as to whether airports count has having visited the city. I have always stated that it does count, with some restrictions. They are as follows:

1) If you have been in the Airport longer than an hour and a half

2) If you have been on the tarmat and breathed the air

3) If you have spent significant time with law enforcement ( see #1)

I continue to find those who don't agree and state that it does not count. I then modified my statement so that if you have met the above requirements you would have to state the following.

"I have been to _____________ but have not had the full experience."

Experience being defined as having a taste of the environment, food, culture etc. Full experience would then include an extended time. ( At least by my definition.) Even with this many still will not agree. Thus I submit the photo of what is stated in the Houston Airport. Notice what it says.

Let the debate continue.

The Obama Factor

I have wrestled about writing this post as politics is an interest of mine but often is not the interest of those around me. Therefore, silence is often golden. However, most recently, I have been brought into several conversations about politics. With the continuing movement which is Obama, more and more of the average americans weigh in on the issue of politics. It used to be said that Politics is only really important to 1% of the population. However, with the most recent elections, it appears that we in america are waking up to the fact that every vote does count. I call this the Obama Factor.

Let's face it, Presidential Candidates are job hunting and interviewing for about 12-18 months or longer. It is the job candidate that produces a kind of energy. The candidate that shows a sense of confidence and yet a bit of humility, it is the one who captures the imagination which is usually the one who is hired. Obviously, they have the skill and talent but the interview sets them apart. In HR you have a second interview to see if your gut is correct and then work out the details. Does this sound familiar? It should because that is exactly the purpose of the primaries. It is an interview for each party.

It has been said that Obama is not a good candidate because he has achieve a status like a rock star. Yet, that's the point. He has captured the imagination of everyday americans. He's greatest statement is the "what if". He challenges everyone to look at the politics and say "what if" which is far different from "here we go again". I'm not saying that he's on target with all policies however, he is making individuals look at the issues again and ask questions and come to there own conclusions and that is what politics is supposed to be.

Yes there is a question of experience, however, only a previous president can truly say they have "experience" with the position. The rest is up for debate. Can Obama deliver? Can anyone? He has said that there will need to be compromises. But out of all the candidates, he is the one that seems to want to bridge some gaps, which may start with the American people apathy for the political game.

The primaries are the first interview, the National elections are the second and final interview. Finally, we have a pool of candidates that we can say, "What if" not "here we go again." This is going to be an interesting fall season for sure.

Just a little lighter

It has come to my attention that my blog has been very "heavy" and that I need to lighten up a bit. I guess I have a habit of finding the "heavy" issue in the everyday. So with this in mind, I share about the Vegas experience. The city of Las Vegas is quite a feat of human imagination. Set admist the mountains and desert springs a bustling enterprise. Yes, there is money a flowing there. I have been told it is the "wow" factor. Wow not good or bad just "wow" 10 sections off the plane and I said wow, as I looked at the bank of slot machines. probably about 30 machines, right in the terminal waiting area. Just in case you can't wait to start or just in case you want one last chance (to break even). I was just like a little kid, eyes big and wide. I've seen the shows about Vegas and the buildings but it is something totally different when you are there. The sights, the sounds, the sights... It really made me understand that: 1) anything is possible and 2) there is money out there, I just need to look for the right vain. :-) I also learned that when you pick on the airline attendants, they pick back :-) that is a story for another time....

What's the point of pain

I hate pain. I hate needles with the little poke. I hate subbing my toe on the dresser corner, I hate the pain two days after a workout, I hate the pain in the head from the weather changing ( yes I’m becoming a human barometer) but what I hate most is the pain that won’t go away. The pain that no one sees. The pain and agony that lingers after you have hurt someone and can’t repair it. The pain that comes from the self doubt. The pain that comes from the self pity. The pain that comes from feeling alone. The pain of a love lost. Now some reading this may be saying Rodger, you’re just a wimp. Others may just think that I need some professional help. (I always need help). But many will understand what I’m talking about. After all, we are all the same yet different. We may come from different backgrounds, and social environments but pain is somewhat a common denominator. Yet pain serves a purpose. Pain creates a need for change. It is often through the greatest pain comes the greatest personal victory because it is when we are in pain that we do the greatest review of our lives. It is what we do with the pain which is most critical. Some will wallow in it, which is not only more painful but potentially deadly. Others view the pain as something to build upon. It is the second group which finds more success in life because when we are at our lowest, there is now where else to go but up. It is often in the pain that we find the truth of who we are. If you are in pain, I know that there is help but you must be willing to find it and use it. Reaching out can be the most painful of all but the more that we share the pain together the better we are equipped to handle the next life challenge.